This is Patrick, just checking to see if this blogging schpiel works right.
Need some content now, I guess.
Okay.
Since maybe like the Middle Ages, there have been many differing opinions on hustle and bustle. This cannot be denied. It is my intention to sit down and play video games for several hours.
First, moving around quickly, and with purpose, is a true sign of character. Secondarily, bustle(e.g. hustle) yields more product for the working types. “Hustle and bustle are like my right and left arms,” said Li’l Spicy in his famous ”Hustle and Bustle Are Like My Right and Left Arms” speech. Webster’s defines bustle as “excited and often noisy activity; a stir.” A stir, indeed. Finally, sometimes gross stuff can be funny.
In conclusion, I, “The Yellow Dart,” think I have done a great job illustrating the many differing opinions about hustle and bustle, may they both rest in peace.
I’m not actually Zach, I’m just taking control of him like some sort of ventriloquist dummy to see if this dual blog format works.
Right, content.
Let’s start this letter with a little quiz:
- Does Mr. Zach Martin’s oversized ego demand that he threaten, degrade, poison, bulldoze, and kill this world of ours?
- Why does he serve as a lobbyist for those who have so grossly sidestepped our laws?
- Essay: Compare and contrast his practices to those of feebleminded wonks, focusing especially on who is more likely to jawbone aimlessly.
Don’t worry; I’ll give you all the answers throughout the course of this letter as well as a wealth of other information about Mr. Martin. It isn’t important whether you agree with every detail that I intend to present. What matters is that you begin to realize that Mr. Martin demands that his screeds be discussed in only the most positive light. To ensure that this demand is met, he sends his little empire after anyone who fails to show the utmost deference when planting big, wet, sloppy kisses on Mr. Martin’s behind.
Given that it’s quite a feat of hypocrisy for Mr. Martin to deny he wants to create a regime of dour antipluralism after so recently doing exactly that, it stands to reason that Mr. Martin is extremely evil. In fact, my handy-dandy Evil-O-Meter confirms that we must set the record straight if we are ever to give the needy a helping hand as opposed to an elbow in the face. Yes, this is a bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must obviously pursue because Comstockism-prone, fatuous insurrectionists have increasingly been pitting race against race, religion against religion, and country against country. Mr. Martin has a lot to answer for in regard to that.
At first, you might be unsure as to whether the failure of Mr. Martin’s bedfellows to recognize that Mr. Martin is doing more harm than good to his cause casts doubts upon their methods. But on deeper inspection, you’ll clearly conclude that Mr. Martin’s favorite tactic is known as “deceiving with the truth”. The idea behind this tactic is that he wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to navigate a safe path between the Scylla of Mr. Martin’s damnable catch-phrases and the Charybdis of neopaganism. As if you didn’t know, he has been producing nothing but filth. If there were any semblance of decency left in his Praetorian Guard that ought to be an affront to it. Sadly, that’s a big “if”; we all know that the spectrum of views between pessimism and resistentialism is not a line but a circle at which mudslinging primates and repulsive, phlegmatic storytellers meet. To properly place Mr. Martin somewhere in that spectrum one needs to realize that Mr. Martin is just trying to pick a fight. That’s why he says that freedom must be abolished in order for people to be more secure and comfortable. I can see from the length of what I’ve written so far that I should save the rest of my comments about Mr. Zach Martin for a future letter. Let me close by stating simply that he is so dead wrong on the issue of nihilism that nothing else he says or does can possibly compensate for his views on that issue.
